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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Capital Fringe's 'STATUS' is an experiment, all right

Limousines, Inc.

Guurrrrlll!!!  We should all have a year (or part of one) like Kathryn Elizabeth Kelly had in 2011 when her boyfriend ended their six-year affair, and she took off and said "yes" to all invitations.
Wow!  You talk about a wild side.  Or was it a wild ride?  I think it was both.  
I've heard about this in Washington, D.C., and I believe Ms. Kelly's show at Capital Fringe, STATUS - A Social Media Experiment, could be up on the big screen, and can't you just imagine the film?  I am ready to buy a ticket.
You see, my lifestyle ain't exactly like Kathryn Elizabeth Kelly's, being that I am much older (one reason) but some of us can live vicariously, can't we? And when does that movie start?

Kathryn Elizabeth Kelly stars in her own play, STATUS - A Social Media Experiment at Capital Fringe/Phil Kogan

Okay, she's a Kennedy Center dancer (she said it was a true story) who starts going out "on the rebound" real fast, like the speed of water gushing from broken pipes, to parties galore, where "Mr. Billionaire" paid her mortgage (!!!) after she agreed to try on one of the many new bikinis he kept  on his yacht on the Potomac where all the women, she said, had been his sleeping partners at one time or another. (Not all at the same time, I don't think since that would require a mattress as big as FedEx Field.  I don't guess a mattress is necessary though. Do you ever wonder how these people remain disease-free?  Maybe, they aren't!) 
(In her one-act, one-person play, Kathryn Elizabeth Kelly never mentions having sex with any of her new "friends."  Shame.)
Anyway, one party led to another and another, and four hours' sleep per night became the norm along with all those alcoholic calories and friends.  Oh, she found a lot of those on FB: to be exact, 687 she "friended" over the year. 
Once she got out her dancing shoes, it didn't take long to break into the D.C. party  circuit and rub shoulders with the elite, including one of the female U.S. Supreme Court justices, and they discussed dance:  modern or ballet? 
And pretty soon, Kathryn Elizabeth Kelly was going to all the fancy digs with so many escorts who knew their way "in," invited or not.  Just act like you know what you're doing, she said, and the hosts will be too embarrassed to kick you out.  (She didn't name the Salahis at the White House, but their images appeared to many of us.)
Ms. Kelly's props are a computer on a fold-out table, a chair, a bell, and the screen behind her where activities, friends, and male pals are displayed in a slide show.  Sadly, no real names supplied.  Just nicknames ("Captain Morgan," Mr. Liteweight," "Lieutenant Delicious.")  There is no intermission (but all the Fringe intermissions I know about are nothing more than pauses). 
Honestly, I don't think she was really acting as much as pouring her guts out about her incredible year over 60 minutes which, for sure, won't appeal to all, but I'll bet a large portion of "all" might be interested in seeing this movie.  (A book?  No.  Well, maybe, written in sixth-grade style for all those people who don't like to read.) To Hollywood or bust!
When I went last Saturday evening, the audience was about 90 percent female.
I can visualize the movie right now and all the scenes in Georgetown, on the water, the yachts (!), restaurants, and the fancy clubs and magic places.  
Let's think of titles since Status makes me think of concrete.  How about D. C. Party Girl or Diary of a Washington Dancer Fabulosity in the Potomac? Phabulous Phantom on the Potomac?
Kathryn Elizabeth Kelly has some tips, too, the most important of which is: 
1.  "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" as in be there and show up.  (She did not name the Bible verse, but I'll supply some:  Luke 6:31 or Matthew 7:12.)
2.  Never pay a cover charge. 
3. If a guy buys you a drink, you are only obligated to converse with him the time it takes you to gulp the drink. 
4. Always carry an extra cocktail dress in your car. (!) 
5. Never drink red wine when wearing a white dress.  
This was the first sold-out Fringe show I've been to this year, and thank goodness I had a reservation since the venue's box office was turning away last-minute purchasers.
What:  STATUS - A Social Media Experiment
When: July 20, 7:45 p.m.; July 21, 10:30 p.m.; July 24, 6:30 p.m.; July 27, 3:30 p.m.
Where:  Caos on F, 923 F Street, NW, Washington, D.C. 2000r
How much: $17 + a one-time charge for the $7 Fringe button required at all venues or buy discounted seats in multiples.  Buy online or at the box office.
Metro stations:  Metro Center, Mt. Vernon Square- Convention Center, Gallery Place-Chinatown, Archives
For more information:  866-811-4111
Language:  X-rated

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