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If you waste your time and money on The Favourite, you'll be as sad as Olivia Colman who plays Queen Anne, center in the mobile chair. That's Rachel Weisz carrying a hot water bottle to soothe upset stomachs from engaging in this joyless, dull film by Fox Searchlight Pictures, Final 4 and Waypoint.
It's hard to believe that any movie can be more boring than the lame 2014 cat movie the critics loved, moviegoers hated and which dived at the box office, but The Favourite wins hands down.
Speaking of hands, Favourite wins the award for "Most Hand Jobs" in cinema. I think it was during one of them that I dozed off for the sixth or seventh time, either then or during the 6,325 times the characters walked back and forth in the hallway which consumed about 45 minutes when all the marches are put together. (I searched for a photo of the march walk but, conveniently, the producers supplied none, probably because the actors made a culvert, and the set was destroyed.)
Speaking of, this
has got to be the cheapest set in movie history since it varied none.
But, of course, the de rigueur bare breasts were present, and we almost got to
see a naked man except no one would want to see that naked man whose body could be mistaken for a giant wrinkled can, not worth
throwing a tomato at (AKA "blood orange").
Also, the F-bomb and (new!) the C-bomb (write and ask) play dominant roles.
My former colleague, Ben, used to tell me that men love to watch lesbians go at it which explains why this yawning, fawning movie was nominated for Best Picture. You gotta be kidding. The only possible nominations should have come for costuming (Sandy Powell: Why were the gowns so dull and repetitive?) and Best Supporting Actress (but she was nominated for Best Actress) Olivia Colman who plays Queen Anne.
You will thank me for saving you from wasting time and money on this monstrosity which infuriates me that I did. What does it matter that part of it is based on history? It's still horrible.
Watch for movie takes on other films coming to this site, but none as bad as The Favourite (with British spelling included!).
patricialesli@gmail.com
From left, Kara-Tameika Watkins, Roz White, and Ayana Reed in Three Sistahs at MetroStage/Photo by Chris Banks
Guuurrrrl, let's be goin' to the MetroStage to see why in the world those Three Sistahs are back for the fourth time!
It's because, girlfriend, those Sistahs are great! They put on a really good show, with plenty of action and dynamics to keep your blood flowin' fast. And, guuurrrrlll, can they sing! Pour it on, Mama!
Those Sistahs are lovin' what they do! They prance and dance all over that stage and yell at each other, just like real sistahs! And they have a white cloth they throw around all the livelong play. I know they'd be lost without it. What a useful prop!
"The ring! Daddy's ring! Where is it? Who's got it?"
The sisters gather together in their daddy's house after their brother's early death, and after their parents', but it's the daddy who's the subject of most of the talk.
What's left? Each other? A husband, whom Marsha (Kara-Tameika Watkins) ain't too proud to have.
They meet to pick up the pieces and let it all hang out which they do to song in the production written and directed by Thomas W. Jones II.
The time is 1969 after the death of Martin Luther King Jr. and the youngest sister, Irene (Ayana Reed), in an almost perpetual frown, is the prickly protestor who stands her ground with her sisters who are inclined to tolerate the status quo.
These are sophisticated women who ain't takin' no words from nobody about how to live their lives, no sirree. "I'll do it on my own, please and thank you, without any advice from the likes of you, my dear sistah!"
Unlike most musicals when you can't make out all the words, these voices are strong and the words, easy to follow as the women lay out their past and grievances with each other and their dad.
Alexander Keen fills the centerpiece with sexy blue lighting in the best scene when Olive (Roz White) relives her "first time" with "Cadillac" in a one-woman demonstration which lights human fires all around. I declare she could heat up all of Washington, D.C. were she to perform outside.
Ummmm, ummmm, ummmm, girlfriend. I need a cloth to wipe my brow!
Remarkable direction and Ms. White's performance become an acting class. (She's one of the original actors from MetroStage's first Sistahs presented in 2002.)
These ladies are sure to delight womenfolk with sisters who will recognize some, maybe all, the elements in the conversations. But, do ladies say bad words like this?
Pianist William Knowles leads bassist Yusef Chisholm and percussionist Greg Holloway off-stage in all styles of music and welcome accompaniment.
Michael Sharp's costumes are refined without being obtrusive.
The set by Carl Gudenius and Nancy Bundy is appropriate, balanced just right without unnecessary complexity to detract from the message which is: I've got to put up with you so we might as well make the most of it and love each other while we can.
Amen, sistah!
Producing Artistic Director Carolyn Griffin, a theatre icon herself, knows a good thing when she's got it.
Other crew members are William G. Wacker, sound; Michael Sharp, stage manager; and Joshua Stout, assistant stage manager
What: Three Sistahs with story by Janet Pryce and music by William Hubbard
When: Through February 24, 2019 on Thursday through Saturday nights at 8 p.m., Sundays at 7 p.m. and weekend matinees at 3 p.m.
Where: MetroStage, 1201 North Royal Street, Alexandria, VA 22314
Tickets: $55. Call the Box Office (703-548-9044).
Duration: Two hours with one 15-minute intermission
Refreshments: Available and may be taken to seats
Parking: On-site and free (enter on Third Street) or park on the street.
patricialesli@gmail.com
From left, Bryce Monroe ("Franco") and Michael Kharfen ("Arthur") star in Reston Community Players' Superior Donuts/ Jennifer Heffner Photography
The superior acting in the Reston's Community Players' newest production, Superior Donuts, more than makes up for the lame title which, I suspect, does not draw audiences and might even turn some away.
Who wants to see a play about donuts? Or so, it would appear.
May I be so bold to suggest a different title, Trading Places?
Indeed, it was "trading places," the theme which struck me, rather than racism which director Seth Ghitelman writes in the program notes.
The production begins with the pernicious, prickly parasite, Max (wickedly acted by Tel Monks) in the racist role, but Max means no offense.
He taunts the black policeman, Officer Bailey (Matthew McCarthy): "I didn't mean anything by it, really."
Sure.
The play's timing is right for Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Black History Month next month, but, to me, this was all about contrasts of young and old, new and stale, go and stop, zest and doom. It had nothing to do with "donuts" which serves as a substitute for a much bigger piece of life's pie. (Groan)
Mr. Ghitelman extracts marvelous performances from his cast, especially from the star of the show, Michael Kharfen who is Arthur Przybyszewski, the shopkeeper who makes the best donuts in Chicago, but whose life is rather hum-drum.
Like the boring donut's shape, Arthur's life continues endlessly, round and round with nothing particularly to upset the apple cart other than constant sad memories he tells in soliloquies under a spot light (which tend to drag the play down. Dialogue could have better communicated the messages. I found myself thinking: "Oh no, not another one").
Regrets, yes, Arthur's had a few, but in walks a human tornado, Bryce Monroe as Franco,
to drive Arthur's meaningless life pattern off course and set a new trajectory, or try to, anyway.
Arthur hires the upstart Franco who knows a thing or two about finding new customers, mind you, and how to attract members of the opposite sex. Franco doesn't hesitate to unload his ideas about shop and self improvements on Arthur.
To Arthur, Franco says: Why doncha play some music in here? Rearrange the seating? And if you have any interest in that pretty policewoman (Mattie Cohan is Officer Osteen), why don't you stand up straight? Get some shoes besides those lifeless tennis shoes, cut your awful pony tail, trim those eyebrows, and wear a nice shirt. Shed your hippy, old-fashioned ways, and Officer Osteen might take a shine to you, if you showed you care.
But does Arthur care?
Franco is too peppy, too full of life, hopes and dreams. He's enthusiastic, and he's young! Let's get real here and "grow up!" Arthur shouts at him. Dim your lights!
But who grows up?
A dream is shattered and hope is quashed until revived by an odd life saver who is rescued himself.
The bad guys (expertly acted by Ian Mark Brown as a tough and realistic Chicago hood, ably assisted by Michael King) enact punishment which is far too extreme. Did they have to go that far?
And what about the language?
Audiences need to be forewarned that Donuts is full of bad words, none, necessary but included, one supposes, to attract millennials to the stage, but is that what they want? Pshaw. It's a put-off.
From left, Ian Mark Brown ("Luther") and Michael Kharfen ("Arthur") duke it out while Michael King ("Kevin") watches in Reston Community Players' Superior Donuts/ Jennifer Heffner Photography
The longest and best fight I have seen on stage was skillfully choreographed by Karen Schlumpf and Ian Claar (is there an award for fight choreography?) who direct two old men to duke it out all over the set and back in the kitchen.
One!
Two!
Pow!
Here, have some hot donut grease on top of that arm.
Ouch!
One of my favorite characters was Sally Cusenza who portrays a homeless woman who slouches in and out of the shop every now and then, a welcome creature dressed to the nines in homeless attire, lugging along a grocery cart full of her last belongings. Her mannerisms and personality add a welcome dimension to the show, with some funny lines, but no one ridicules her.
(Congratulations to Ms. Cusenza who excels in triple roles as hair and makeup designer.)
Donuts was billed as a comedy but if this is a comedy, you can eat all the donuts in Chicago for a year and not gain a pound. Besides, you'll be gnawing about these Donuts, not the sugary kind.
Also in the cast is Tice Rust, a heavy who, in real life, is a Spanish teacher at Herndon High School.
Other crew members are Bea and Jerry Morse, producers and set decoration; Laura Baughman, stage manager; Ashley Primavera, assistant stage manager; Maggie Modig, set designer; Adam Konowe, lighting; William Chrapcynski, sound; Mary Jo Ford, properties; Mary Gayle Rankin, costumes; Sara Birkhead, master electrician; Scott Birkhead, master carpenter; Sandy Dotson, light board operator.
Tracy Letts, who wrote the 2008 Pulitzer winner, August: Osage County, is the playwright.
Rated: R
Language: X
Ages: Adults
Who: Reston Community Players
What: Superior Donuts by Tracy Letts
When: Friday and Saturday nights at 8 p.m. through Feb. 2 with a Sunday matinee at 2 p.m., Jan. 27, 2019.
Where: Reston Community Center, 2310 Colts Neck Road, Reston, VA 20191
Tickets: Buy online, at the box office at the Community Center, or call 703-476-4500 and press 3 for 24-hour service. $28, adults; $24, students and seniors.
Duration: About two hours and 15 minutes with one intermission.
patricialesli@gmail.com
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