'Widows,' yes! 'Shoplifters,' no

Credit: AOI Promotion Fuji Television Network  GAGA

Shoplifters is one repetitive scene after another.  They eat, a woman cooks, they eat some more, somebody cooks.  Repeat.  Repeat again. Family members teach the children how to shoplift for food. The adults work at part-time jobs, get laid off.  Finally, close to the end, the script and scenes change in quick metamorphosis, but shoplifting continues with the revelation that stealing includes all kinds of nourishment.


This is another of those films the critics love (and give it a 99% score at Rotten Tomatoes: audience rating:  90%). It is about the underclass in Japan which may explain the high rating. Save your money and your time.  It lacks depth, versatility, and plot. Not much here.  It's no wonder the birth rate in Japan is low.

Viola Davis, left, and Cynthia Erivo take'em on in Widows, a Steve McQueen film


Widows on the other hand is zowee action from the get-go!  (Attention: Tina and Matt:  You will definitely not like Shoplifters, but I'll wager that Widows will keep your attention.) It's a great story with terrific acting, including the knockout (!) performance by Cynthia Erivo.  (Viola Davis and Liam Neeson ain't too bad either, and could Elizabeth Debicki really be that tall?  I kept thinking that, maybe, she was standing on stilts or something, but I checked the Internet, which is always right, and she is 6' 2" or 6'3"! [Two answers.]  Yowsers! Did she play basketball in Australia?  I have derailed.) 
  
I don't have to describe the plot, right?  Four women who are widowed take it upon themselves to learn the craft and practice what their husbands practiced.  

It's not a "chick flick," as might be expected, but men will like it, too, with the blood, gore, sex (natch), obligatory breasts, bad words, and a hot spot plot. 

Dear Mr. McQueen (the director and co-writer with Gillian Flynn):  You've got a winner. Congrats!  (Critics:  90%; audience, 63%.  The audience doesn't always get it right.)

That's entertainment!

 
patricialesli@gmail.com

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'Most Boring' Oscar goes to 'Let the Sunshine In'

"Sunshine"? What "sunshine"? The "sunshine" done got let out of this movie, as in, it's always cloudy in these parts.  Or nighttime and dark, dark, dark.

Where did they come up with this misnomer?  I've got a better title: Purposeless Woman Rolls In and Out.  

This is a slow-go, pitiful excuse for a movie with just one single piece of redeeming social value, namely the recording of Etta James' "At Last" sung while the "heroine" (Juliette Binoche) dances solo, soon joined on the dance floor by a nameless buck who looks a lot like Mick Jagger (okay, two pieces of "redeeming social value").


Other than that two-minute splice, this ain't got nuthin' goin' for it. (A double negative which means a positive, but in this case, it's a double negative.)

"Isabelle" rolls in and out of bed with:

1. A married sleezebag who bears a resemblance to Harvey Weinstein. (Come on!)
2. An actor who "has regrets" (sure, bro') since he's breaking up with his wife
3.  I lost count.  I think Mick Jagger was about #7.
4.  Her ex 
5.
6.
7. (Maybe Mick?)
8.
9.
10. zzzzzzzz .....zzzzzzzzzz
ad infinitum

At the end, my pal, Terry, woke up from a two-hour nap just in time to ask: "Where'd the black dude come from?"  Who knows?  I didn't think I fell asleep, too, but maybe I got in some shuteye, because suddenly, on her elbow Isabelle had grown a new beau who wanted to take it "slow."  


Yeah, right. "Slow" like in this excuse for a movie!  This was actually worse than that dreadful cat movie of several years ago, and it has got to be really bad to exceed that one in boringness.

Save your money and your time. This got an 85% critics' rating at Rotten Tomatoes (natch; their rating is why I went!) and the audience gave it a 22%!  The audience always wins which just goes to show you that Rotten Tomatoes has gone rancid on us.

patricialesli@gmail.com

Movie review: 'Mr. Turner' is looong and laborious

Timothy Spall is J.M.W. Turner in Mr. Turner by Sony Pictures Classics

 

Oh, please.  This is another one of those movie critics' movies, the kind they like and write about for each other.  Rather like that depressing cat movie of last year.

At Rotten Tomatoes, this may come as a shock, but the critics have given Mr. Turner a 97, while we the people who count, who rate, who provide the ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-chang, chang gave it a 61.  That's a big spread. 

We the people tend to ignore the critics and for good reason!  They've got their favorites, and we've got ours, and this ain't one. 

Who do you trust? 

Oh, sure, Timothy Spall does a fine acting job as J.M.W. Turner (1775-1851), the painter, as do all the women in the film (Marion Bailey, Dorothy Atkinson,  Ruth Sheen), and I have no doubt Spall will be nominated for an Oscar, but acting,  beautiful scenery (like Turner's art), and period costuming (by Jacqueline Durran) can't carry the ball without a playbook. Those who come and pay to see movies would like some action, please, a story line featuring more than a joyless, moody artist harrumping and grabbing about.  The script is languid, rather like Turner's pace, a little faster than a drunken slug on New Year's Eve.

(In this role, Spall is proof positive that when it comes to sex appeal, looks don't matter.  Position and money are what counts.)
 
It's another movie, ho hum, which treats women as second-class citizens, but in the 19th century, I don't think they were citizens at all. Women meant nothing to Turner except when he "needed" them. Grrrummmmmpppp.....or is that grrooppe? 
 
Turner is not as good as another film about an artist (Big Eyes) which is pretty miraculous that two films are out at the same time about the lives of artists, but Big Eyes was a pleasant surprise, and coming soon,  a review of it. 

The fact that I had to hold my head at a 125 degree angle the whole time at E Street trying to see Mr. Turner certainly made matters worse.  It was the 5 p.m. show last Saturday, and the theater was all booked except for the very front.  Yeeks.  Terrible seats.  I poked the guy next to me who was about 12 going on 35, and voiced my complaint, and naturally, he agreed. I couldn't tell if those in the front three rows had neck cricks or were fast asleep. 

Producers:  Where is the movie on strong women?  Why do we always have to play second fiddle and be your pawns?  I want to see Joan of Arc take on the British, Tina stomp on Ike, Queen Isabella of Spain rule the world, and Catherine of Russia dish it.  You go, girls! 

I can't wait to see the new woman vampire film.  Eat'em up!  Let's go!

patricialesli@gmail.com

 

The Movie: 'Slumdog Millionaire' – A Must for Serious Moviegoers

Never, never, never (did I say “never”?) shall I see a movie again without consulting the Tomatometer which supplies an instant verdict on whether a movie is good or bad.

I point you to an earlier review, “Seven Pounds,” truly dreadful in every way and scoring a ripe 29% on the Tomatometer, to be contrasted with “Slumdog Millionaire” which received a 94% and is an incredible production.

The music!

The lighting!

The action!

The plot!

The content!

The acting!

Driving two miles to the theatre that night I struggled to keep my eyes open while thinking: “Self, you are dumb to go to the movies tonight when you are so tired for you will surely fall asleep.”

NOT.

Throughout the performance my eyes flew out of their sockets several times and in one scene, with many others, I screamed. At the end some applauded.

This movie will win the Academy Award for Best Picture. It must.

Warning to the squeamish: It is not for you. Two seats from me a 20-something female left after 15 minutes, followed two minutes later by her mother (I presume), and then her father (I presume) after the mother retrieved him. Those who liked the faint-hearted, insipid “Seven Pounds” or movies like it will not be able to abide this. For those who love art, this one’s for you.

The Movie: "Man on Wire"

92 critics can't be wrong.

Are you familiar with the "tomatometer"? The film critics' site, "Rotten Tomatoes"? Few movies score 100% on the "tomatometer" which means "thumbs up" by all participating critics, and "Man on Wire" is one!

Go see it! Just fantastic.

The story, the score, the tension, the everything.

A documentary and thoroughly entertaining. Not a chick flick; not for the squeamish or "fluff bunnies," or acrophobics. You will grip your seat; you will gasp; you will laugh. Although you know the ending, your palms still sweat.

Philippe Petit's "words of wisdom" at the end are worth the price of admission. And if you are curious about the construction of the World Trade Center towers, many scenes of their construction are screened throughout.

Bravo, Philippe Petit, the star, James Marsh, director, and Michael Nyman, music director! I can't wait to buy the CD.