Destination: Cairo

Changing planes in Frankfurt, Germany where two hours rushing through the beeeg (sic) terminal were almost not enough time to catch our next flight to Cairo (having to go through security again). The experience at Dulles last night was not nearly so bad.  The employees smiled (shock) and were right friendly/photo by Patricia Leslie

Update: Look!  Look! Blurry lights and an impressionist painting taken from the shuttle bus in Cairo on the way to the hotel which has security entrances with dogs and inspections of vehicles under and over, large gates, magnetometers, and x-rays of possessions.  I later learned (and observed) the Egyptian government supplies guards with AK-47s to accompany tourists whenever tourists are out in public.  We always felt safe. Pictures to come!/photo by Patricia Leslie

Look! Look!  Cairo has more traffic than DC, more people, too!  On the way to the hotel on this bus, I fell on top of the tour guide while searching the floor for my IPad when the bus driver had to suddenly lurch to a stop.  (He was very cute.  The tour guide.  I never saw the driver from my perch at the back of the bus.)  This was after the tour guide almost sent out a search party for me at the Cairo airport when I lagged and didn't show up.  Man!  I was at the back of the plane and we know how fast it is getting off when you're in the tail.  Claire says Egypt is a third world country, and I said "no way," laying on these luxurious Egyptian sheets in this palatial hotel, the Fairmont on the banks of the Nile River.  More to come!/photo by Patricia Leslie 

Bags don't fly free on Southwest Airlines. Bags don't fly (Updated)

Uummmm, not all the time/photo, airlinesdestination.com

I chose an early flight out of Baltimore so I could get to the beach earlier and have a longer day on the shore.

Alas. It was not to be.

Just try to walk, run, or play in the sand in high heels; it ain't happenin'.  But that's all I had. My bags didn't make the flight.

Photo by Mari Hirata, Asia Education Foundation

So much for a day at the beach.  So much for a day of fun in the sun, on the shore, in the waves. It didn't make.  It is lost.  A day gone, forever.

Thank you, Southwest Airlines.

From Baltimore to Charleston is only 95 non-stop minutes in the air (okay, 100 if you don't know which way the wind blows) so you'd think if you thought that losing bags would not happen since no turnarounds, transfers, layovers, pushups, or loose peanuts are involved, but, somehow, some way, bags belonging to about 25 of us got left behind.  On a cart somewhere in Baltimore, the Southwest agent in Charleston said.

They left a cart somewhere in Baltimore
Beside the plane, they call to me.
To be where other big bags fly, 
halfway to the stars
The morning rain may wet the air
They don't care 

My bags wait there for me in Baltimore
Nearby the blue and windy sea
When I call you bad names, O Baltimore
You've got my bags in absentee

The plane was not crowded.  It was a rare day in Skyland.  Empty middle seats filled the rows.  None of us found languishing later at Charleston's baggage claim were "late check-ins."  No explanation.

Something's awry in Baltimore. 

The last trip I made on Southwest before this one was at Christmas when I found, at my destination, wet contents in my bag caused by someone leaving my luggage uncovered on the tarmac in Baltimore where it was pouring the rain.  I filed a complaint and got a $50 voucher, enough to buy emergency supplies for the next flight which would be this one.

I tell you, something's awry in Baltimore.

What made it worse was Southwest's failure to guarantee the bags would be placed on the next available flight which was six hours later.  At the baggage claim center (888-202-1024) two agents told me my bags were lost, and Southwest could not locate them.  I made a few phone calls to Charleston (843-789-5442), Southwest's "customer service" (214-932-0333 and closed on Sunday), and left a choice message or two for the Baltimore Southwest baggage claim office (410-981-1200).  I can well understand why that manager would have his answering machine set on permanence since he wants to avoid taking live calls like he wants to avoid live snakes with fangs.  I was.

Meanwhile, a local at a restaurant told me the same thing had happened to her aunt who had to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for her vacay.  Attention, Southwest Airlines:  I ain't a one-percenter with a vacay wardrobe checking account!

Meanwhile, it dawned on me (ding, ding, ding; hold on, brain's in commotion) that... it... was... pouring....the rain....all over again in the Land of the Ravens when....we....left...... which meant....possibly.... yep, you think, damp contents again?  (Answer, below.*) 

Upon check-in at my hotel I griped about my stress-filled day to the clerk, and another guest had the nerve to interrupt my day without pity: "Well," she harrumphed, "we paid $85 for two bags and golf clubs on US Air." 

"Look," I snarled 

I see that worried look upon your face,
You've got your bags, I don't have mine.
You flew US Air, I wish I had your place
You've got your bags, I don't have mine.

"You get what you pay for," I continued

I got plenty of nothin'
And nothing's not plenty for me.
I got no shoes,
Got no rouge,
Got lots of misery
From Southwesty

Folks with plenty of baggage
Are happy folks, yes, indeed
You got your shirts
You got your pants
You don't need no delivery 
From Southwesty

No wet-soaking clothes
Do you find in your bags
But it's more
And I'm sore
to miss the fun in the sun
On the shore!

The things that I prize
Like my bags in the sky
Are not free!

Say I've got plenty of nothin'
And nothing's not plenty for me.
Got no clothes
Got no shoes,
Ain't got no guarantee  from Southwesty

Got my stress
Where's my dress
That's my song
Lookin' for bags the whole daylong

Ten hours later, well, looky here:  I'll be doggone, here they came.  I tell you, something's awry at that Baltimore Southwest baggage office, however, I may have discovered the hiding place of the manager in absentia which will have to wait until I return to O Baltimore and take a photo.  (This just in:  An update at the end.)

Anyway, I thought I hated Dulles.  Well, I do hate Dulles.  It's the pits.  Those people out there haven't smiled since they got Easter baskets back in 1946.  Dulles is so bad Senator Mark Warner (D-VA) has called for an official investigation and airport cleaning of why it's so bad.  Thank you, Senator Warner. 

Attention, Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD): O Baltimore airport has a few little baggage problems you might want to check out before you check out of there again. 

I tell you what:  It saves to fly National, at least, for now.  Because for sure:  Something's happening at that Baltimore airport, and it ain't no free flying bags.

* You got it!

Readers, I ask you, is is possible that the manager in absentia is hiding in this dirt bomb which has collected more dust than my living room table? Why in the world does BWI Parking leave this thing to occupy a prime piece of real estate in its daily parking garage (2nd level, across from the elevators)?  The subject of a law suit?  Can't find the VIN? The tow truck can't get in the garage? Can you imagine the revenue which has been lost on this one parking place?  And how long do you think it's been there?  Answer below...

Photos by Patricia Leslie

patricialesll@gmail.com

Update: Why I (used to) hate Dulles

Wikimedia Commons, Joe Ravi/CC-BY-SA 3.0

(Since this was originally posted in 2013, things have gotten far better for arriving international passengers at Dulles. Updated October 4, 2017)

Dulles' traffic is down. 

You don't say.

I can give you a few reasons:

1.  Inefficiency

2.  Sullen, mediocre staff

3.  Delays

4.  Time

On Saturday night I was one of about 300 deplaning from international flights at Dulles where "our time" was the middle of the night. Woe be to us.

I suppose it was a new experience for Dulles which must not have access to flight schedules so it didn't know 300 were arriving simultaneously to go through "passport control," and that is why only three of 24 lanes were open for U.S. citizens for "processing."   I was in the second line of between 10 and 15 lines, likely 30 deep each, at least.  I took photos, but, alas, I was thwarted by the Dulles' staff. Surprise.  Read on.

After 25 minutes a man in the first lane called out to an attendant:  "Can't you get more people here to process us?  My goodness, you only have three lanes open for all these people!"  She looked deaf, blind, and mute.  It was 7:55 p.m. EST and 3:55 a.m. Moscow time.

Five minutes later another lane opened to accommodate the hundreds of people.  Babies cried.  Spouses exchanged irritations.  Children asked "Why?"

It took 40 minutes for me to be "processed."  How long would you estimate the people in the last line waited?  That, in addition to another passport check and declarations of goods brought into the U.S. at another station beyond the first.   

This did not happen last year at National Airport where processing was uneventful and fast.  Maybe the Dulles' staff can attend classes at National Airport.

When I got to Moscow last week and some Brits found out I was from Washington, they rushed to tell me their horrid experience at Dulles when they visited the U.S.  "It took us two hours to get through passport control," they said.  Oh, really.  At the Moscow airport, we sailed through with three persons in lines at most, and were "processed" quickly.

The only time I ran into any security problems on my trip was at Dulles.  No questions (or police) at the Kremlin, in Red Square or anywhere else in Russia.  Not even from the Russian military I often shot.

When I photographed the throng of people and crying babies in the middle of the night at Dulles, I was rushed by "Mahder" who demanded I delete my pictures of Dulles and said she would watch me to make sure I did it.  Why can't I keep my pictures to show your inefficiency?  I asked.  She said she could not say why. 

One of my pictures was a stand-up advertisement in the last line we could read about 1,000 times which said:  "What are you waiting for?"  And on a brochure Mahder handed me:  "You're in a hurry.  Global Entry Makes International Arrivals Fast & Easy."  Ha!  Ha!  The joke was on us.

Dulles thinks it's the only airport with security in place and that's why no photos are allowed?  If you think D.C. is a police state, it will be confirmed for you on a trip to Russia where security is lax, and people laugh on the streets and are happy.  As Derrick from Britain said before the British Parliament voted to stay out of the Syria mess: "America attacks everyone, and that's why America is a target."

The only piece of good news from the night came from the bus driver who said the traffic to Dulles was so light on the bus line from Tysons to the airport, the fare had been cut from $5 to $1.80. 

I can tell you why.

You have heard the expression "I hate Duke." 

Well guess what.

patricialesli@gmail.com